Saturday, December 8, 2012

D Day has come

We've moved in!!! The house isn't exactly finished, but it is a far cry from the shack.

In the last couple of days I have been asking myself what whether it was worth it or whether I would do it again.
It is a hard question to answer and I have struggled to decide why my answer would be no or why my answer would be yes.

The house is more beautiful than I could have ever imagined. I can best describe it as a sensory explosion. Sound, light and smell flood my senses though every window. Three things that have been very much unappreciated for the last three years.

When we first bought the property Issy was two months old and we jumped in blindly and full of dreams. The shack seemed quite 'doable' and we thought it would only take two years at the most to build the house and move in. One bad design wasted a year and at one point we wondered if we should sell and renovate somewhere else.

It was a turning point to re-design the house and I'm glad we did. The first design was nothing compared to what we have now achieved. The house fits the site like a glove as if it was always meant to be here. Every window has a view that I appreciate as I walk around the house. The trees, the sky and the water have never looked so beautiful.

I think that my answer is neither yes or no. It has been a big sacrifice to live in the conditions that we have in the last three years. While the build has had it's stressful moments it has been everything else that came along with it that regularly pushed me to the edge.

If I had to choose to build again, I would choose the same path. But, would I choose to do it under the same circumstances, no I wouldn't. However, without rent free accommodation it is not likely that we would have been able to build. The two choices are completely dependent on each other.

Ultimately, the experience and the time that has passed has changed me as a person. I value things differently and I have become much more resilient. The change in me is for the better. The 31 year old me would choose not to follow this path, so it is probably lucky that the wide eyed and and dreamy 28 year old me thought it was a brilliant idea.

A dear friend of mine put it simply this evening. The three years has changed me to a point where I can appreciate the house more than many people could understand. The mere fact that my soul fills with joy every time I see leaves outside, feel a breeze and see my family together in a space that enlightens our lives is enough to show me that the journey was always meant to be the way it was.